No sleep tonight, anything new?

It is like almost midnight and I guess that I have nothing else to do but type in this stupid blog thing. I don't ever expect anyone to read it so I guess that this is just my way of getting out some frustration. I hate people who do the whole woe is me deal but I guess that lately I have been that way. It is just really hard because ever since I found out I was pregnant people treat me differently (as expected). This is both a positive and a negative. A positive in that I have never been closer with my family (and we have always been a tight group), and a negative because I have to give up who I used to be. All the so called friends have moved on and the only time they want to hang-out is when they need to go grocery shopping at Wal-Mart and there is no one else who wants to go with them, or when they have issues and no one else will lend an ear. But when I need them most they're out getting drunk or on a date. I guess that is what the typical 19 year old is like, and I guess that is why I don't have any friends (I am not the typical 19 year old). I was talking to my boyfriend tonight and when I complained that I had no friends (except in my family) He told me to just go talk to people.... how do you do that? Do you just walk up to someone and say "Hey I want to be your friend let's hang out" I am way too shy for that not to mention I have zero social skills. I realized that while I was trying to go to sleep. I told James that there is no one like me, everyone is so immature and self-centered at this point in their lives (aren't all teenagers?) and when people try to talk to me about their hair appointment or how so&so called me this and don't you think that was mean... I really just don't have a whole lot more to say then the typical... yah or mm-hmm. I am not trying to sound like an egotistical jerk when I say this but I just feel like I am on a completely separate level of thinking. I am so over (though I never really was part of it) the parties and the relationship drama and the backstabbing and lies and superficial barbies who have nothing better to do then sleep around and shop...

I don't mind leaving all that behind one bit. I have my baby boy to think about and when he is in my life and I have him to take care of then nothing else is going to matter. I am going to be a mother and that is the greatest gift that anyone can ask for. I have made a promise to myself to be the best mom I can be and to make sure that my child has a life as wonderful as the one that my family has given to me. I hope that that will be enough.